March 28, 2001 03:16 PM

Doors are opening.

and i'll miss you when i'm slipping in between

It feels like doors are opening. We're on the express to pain and suffering and all I can think tonight is doors. Opening doors. Long hallways of doors. Doors and doors and doors.

April is spring, the month, the things you know - but April is also an opening, an aperture. A doorway.

if you wrap yourself in daffodils

Daylight is for worry and depression. Daylight is for concern and "gee, maybe all those cracks I made about that handbasket aren't so funny. wait! no they are." You can have daylight. These days. These are the wages of thinking work is more than just a thing done for money. Thinking work is about love. I'd like to erase a few weeks of daylight and start over.

i will wrap myself in pain

But come sunset. Come my fifteen minutes with my car, my happy tape. And, yes, sorry Mom and Dad, my cigarette. Come these things, these minutes. All I can think of is a thousand doors opening. I'm suddenly optimistic. Expectant. Intrigued. Time to go! I have the keys.

and if you're the queen of california

What it is. Is another corner. With April around it. Rain and azaleas and dogwood and warm breezes and the inkling of sand between my toes. That cyan tint to the light. Memory. Desire. Et cetera. Did I say February was my favorite month? No. It's April. Everything will be alright.

baby i am the king of the rain

In the fall, I think of Orion. All the people who thought of that figure in the sky. That hunter-god. I think "god's in his heaven; all's right with the world". Come spring. Come spring it's even better. He's the things in my empty pockets. He's just as there as ever. All's right.

and i say

Goodnight, April...

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