particle theory
March 17, 2001 02:50 PM

People collide.

I was thinking this last night. As I sat with a boy I know from college. A boy I haven't seen in 4 years. We talked in the same fun way as ever.

Then there's the other boys. My best friend's best friend's best friend and that crew. The people we know seem like miraculous accidents. How the hell we met. Collided and repelled. Or. Joined.

The people we knew. And don't anymore. Collide. Repel.

On a macro level, things seem so random. Well, sometimes. As present as I believe free will to be. Still. Randomness. Might not then particles have a sort of free will? If they have something resemblng consciousness. That is.

Last night I fell asleep thinking I'd replaced my blood with coffee and alcohol. Feeling I knew how it moved through me differently. Faster. More liquid.

Proof that a night has been fun. Proof that it has been.

Now and then I need to remember what I am.

Today the sun is streaming through our filmy curtains. I stirred up dust. The room is alive with tiny sparkling bits of light. They're dancing, light in air. They're shining in a million colors. And I. I am tiny sparkling bits of light. I am sparkling and dancing.

I am a thin line between water and air. The line, the water, and the air. Waves and particles. Not simply duality. I am the Genius of And. Not simply I. All.

I am secretly operating on an infinitesimal scale. Untouched and completely rearranged by every miniscule event.

Collide and join. Collide. Repel.

« highway | Main | i am soluble »
in this section
back to archives
October 2004
August 2004
June 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001
November 2001
October 2001
September 2001
August 2001
June 2001
March 2001
February 2001
January 2001
December 2000
August 1996
August 1995
July 1993
April 1993
August 1992
May 1992
October 1989
July 1987
January 1987
September 1984
July 1982
more info
email me
design by seven ten
about the site wicked thoughts edge of the season arts links we have brains