things you just do
February 2, 2002 08:32 PM

Every year I send this email. Or call.

There are things I just do. There aren't many of them. I have a penchant for analysis. Little comes out unedited, unchecked. But there are a few things that, for whatever reason, get done and said without questions.

The boy is away. I wasted this day. In a way. Rather than take the time to make a decision, to do something. I sat in my pyjamas. Would never have taken them off, were it not for my desire for ice cream.

How typical a girl on her own thing is that? I ate ice cream right from the container. It was a small container, one of those little Godiva things contrived, it's obvious, for eating right from the container by girls on their own.

I left some for later, too. I'll share it with you.

It was nice, bopping through the grocery store. You really must dance through my grocery store now. They play funk and sixties girl-bands. Of course, they're also dense and sickeningly moralistic (no condoms! no alcohol!) but ironically advertise themselves as a good place to meet single people. Both literally and figuratively a meat market, they may encourage premarital sex, but have none of that safe sex you kids are talking about. Heil Ukropolis.

If I had more girlfriends, we'd have gone out dancing. Or drinking, something like that. But, when I was introverted and could have survived easily without girls, I had them. And now, extraverted, I don't. Sometimes you just are and do things that don't quite make sense.

I have, in the past, done many stupid things just because I did them. Some I analysed after, but never in the moment. It's been awhile since anything like that, though. I think of this mostly because I realised today that I've been mentally spelling an accident's name incorrectly for years.

And it's not a hard name to spell. It's probably not even the only one I've got wrong, or incomplete, in my head. But things you just do, well, you're likely to forget bits of them.

I should be more careful with whom I share my ice cream.

Really, you should only trust people who have enough conviction to want their own ice cream.